Baby Come Back

Today I have a guest blogger and possibly a new way for you to get your ex back. Let me know what you think!

By Jenna James

You’re distraught, upset and heart-broken, so it’s understandable you’ll find yourself willing to do pretty much anything to get your ex back. The ten mistakes below are extremely common, and will almost completely kill your chances of getting your ex back. Undoubtedly you’ve either seen friends make these mistakes or maybe YOU made them in the past.

If you want to succeed in getting your ex back, avoid the following ten behaviors as if your life depends on it. Your life doesn’t depend on it, but your relationship does. If you manage to avoid the mistakes, you’re chances of mending your broken relationship are pretty damn good.

1. Panic Contact – This is what happens when you let your distress and shock get the best of you. You don’t know what to do. All you want is to change things back to how they were, rewind time, and fix the problem immediately. So you do the only thing you can think of and try to contact your ex hoping you can reason him or her back into dating you. And the more you panic, the more you end up instigating damaging contact. All your begging, crying, and screaming serves only to convince your ex that he or she made the right decision.

2. Laying on the Guilt – Once things start looking final and your begging doesn’t seem to be working, it’s natural to want to guilt your ex into staying with you – a bad idea.

Once you start saying things like, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this,” “I’ve given you so much and this is how you repay me,” and “I knew this would happen, you never were good at relationships,” you’re sending yourself down a dangerous path. This may seem like a valid tactic, but it’s really just a form of manipulation that will send your ex in the opposite direction you want them to go.

3. Settling for Friendship – You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Your ex most likely loves you as a person, so when you agree to be “just friends,” it’s an excellent resolution for him or her. He or she gets to keep you in his life without dating you. Unfortunately, by demoting yourself to the role of friend, you end up setting yourself up to get hurt. Instead, you need to set boundaries. Seek out the support of other friends.

Don’t trick yourself into believing that remaining friends is the only way you can keep your ex in your life. You have to let go completely, especially if you want the chance of getting back together in the future. Remember, if you stay friends, you’ll have to be a “good friend” and support your ex when he or she starts dating someone else. Sound painful?

4. Sleeping with Your Ex – So you shouldn’t revise your relationship to not include sex (being friends), but you also shouldn’t reduce your relationship to just sex. Sleeping with your ex is “fun” for you ex, and a big “I hope” for you. But that hope is unlikely to ever pan out.

5. Resorting to Drugs or Alcohol – It may seem like there’s no alternative, but drowning your sorrows in this manner makes you unappealing to your ex and is dangerous to yourself. And when you finally come out of it, you’ll feel bad.

6. Spiralling into Obsession – It’s understandable, you’re hurt. So giving voice to your woes and discussing your ex is okay… to a point. If you’re talking about your ex constantly to anyone who will listen, you’re apt to drive away friends and family members in addition to driving away your ex. It isn’t healthy to obsess. Give your mourning the time it deserves then think happier thoughts.

7. Harassing Your Ex’s Friends – You shouldn’t be in contact with your ex at all in the early stages of your break up. That INCLUDES being in contact with his or her friends. Sometimes this might suck, but for your sake, it’s the best thing to do.

8. Spying, Stalking, and Anything Creepy – Let the characters in movies do all the spying. You need to focus on yourself and not on what your ex is doing. There is nothing you can do about it. You’re only going to rile yourself up.

9. Gifting Your Ex – You can’t buy your ex back with cute, thoughtful, or expensive gifts. Even if you could, he or she wouldn’t be interested in you… just in what you could give.

10. Badmouthing Your Ex – No matter how much you want to drag your ex’s name through the mud for hurting you, 99% of the time it will come back to haunt you. Be adult about your break up, and save your angry comments for behind closed doors.

These are the things NOT to do. But then what are the things you should be doing?

I reveal dozens of surprisingly simple secrets in my courses Bait Him Back and Bait Her Back. By using just one tip, you’ll increase your chances at getting back together if your situation seems hopeless.

Also, get your free 7-day email training course to win your ex back by clicking here. After you register for free, you’ll get some tips revealed only in my course and be able to get your copy.

If she walked out on you, then all that you are probably thinking about right now is what you can do to win your ex girlfriend back. Maybe you did not fully understand how much you loved and cared about her, or maybe you didn’t realize you loved her at all until it was too late. Now that she has walked out on you, however, you are feeling intense pain and a desperate need to learn how to win her back.

I hope this information will help you while you try to get a handle on how you are going to lure her back into your arms once and for all.

Maybe you made some silly mistakes in the relationship, but we have all been there so don’t fret. If you are serious about learning how to win ex girlfriend back, then you need to move past the bad times and start working on rekindling things.

If you did something wrong to lead to the breakup, and you need to apologize, then now is your chance to be prepared to make this happen. You should not just apologize as part of how to win ex girlfriend back, but rather you should understand what you are apologizing for.

You do not need to rewrite history as part of knowing how to win ex girlfriend back, but instead you are going to need to find a way to focus on rebuilding the relationship for the future rather than to repair the past.

If you are serious about doing what it takes to learn how to win ex girlfriend back, then there are two points that need to be addressed in your apology. Do you need to talk to a professional regarding your behavior? If you are not sincere about getting the help that you need, then you are wasting your time and her time as well.

If you cheated on her, then you need to figure out why so that you can keep it from happening again. If you hurt her in some other way, you need to discover what caused it so that you can prevent it. Prevent the same situation from happening again, and you will know how to win ex girlfriend back once and for all.

When you finally do talk to your ex girlfriend, you need to be willing to apologize her to know how to win ex girlfriend back, and you need to make sure that you give her space and time after apologizing so that she can think things through and figure out what she wants. If you do not give her time, she’ll come to a conclusion that is counterproductive for the relationship, so do not force her to make a decision until she is ready.

I have been sitting here at the kitchen table with my best girlfriend, Dee, crying and laughing at the same time. Actually both of us are so darn giddy, it’s hilarious. And when we start laughing really, really hard, I almost pee myself. Oh Gawd! I’ve started giggling again. Hold on a second, I have to stop laughing and then I’ll tell you all about it.

Now let me tell you why we are so giddy. About six months ago my boyfriend dumped me. As you can imagine, I was completely devastated. I thought I was having a heart attack; it hurt so bad. I was so messed up. All I did was cry hour after hour. I couldn’t think, much less try to go to work. You know what I’m saying right?

About 3 days into the worst event of my life, a thought hit me. It was almost like a white hot electrical shock from a huge lightning bolt coming out of the sky and hitting me. I really, really love this guy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And the first question that popped into my mind was, “How do I get him back?”

I had already tried to text and call him, but he just plain ignored me. Then I went over to his house and almost got on my knees begging him to take me back. Karl was very gentle, as he explained what was going on with him and then he asked me to leave. And that’s when I blew my top. I just plain lost it. But I did leave.

After getting home I called Dee, bawling my eyes out again and she rushed over; to comfort me and give some much needed advice.

Dee had gone through the same thing with her boyfriend within the last year, so she knew what she was talking about. As we talked she told me how she had done the same things I had and they didn’t work for her either. “O.K.! Then how did you get Michael back?” I asked.

“Listen,” she said. “Lisa, the first thing you have to do is stop acting like a fool. You’re going to have to take your time and figure out what caused Karl to breakup with you. Once we have that figured out we can layout a battle plan to get him back.” And trust me that‘s precisely what we did.

Dee said she had an ebook and she brought it up on her iPhone and began to list the things she had used and I was going to have to do to win my ex back:

* Start looking my best, all the time not just part of the time
* Determine why Karl and I had fallen in love the first time
* Start doing the things that had attracted Karl to me originally
* Stop texting, stop calling, stop going to his house

To make a long story short I followed our battle plan and last night Karl asked me to marry him. Oh Gawd! The ring is beautiful. Now you know why I’m so giddy I could cry.

But I have to tell you without Dee and her tips from that ebook I would have lost Karl forever.

and of course Dee is talking about the

So you want to get your lover back? Tips and advice on how get your ex back are everywhere these days but how do you know what works and what will send your ex running even further away?

First trust your own instincts. You and you alone know both yourself and this former lover. Why did you break up? Was it just a silly argument or are you really incompatible on some level. Arguments about silly things are often a sign of a more deep rooted problem so dont just ignore it. If you were constantly fighting about the same small things, chances are there is some other issue affecting your relationship. You need to deal with this issue as ignoring it will not make it go away.

Try asking your family and friends for their opinion on what makes you two a great couple. Also ask them for their insight into why you may have broken up – you may learn something new.

Try talking to your ex-lover. Arrange to meet up on neutral ground, preferably in a park or restaurant where there will be other people close by. Why? So that you both have to remain cool and not let your meeting turn into yet another shouting match.

Do not let your meeting descend into a trading insults session. Sure you may have to listen to some truths, which hit home, but do so gracefully. Your ex is probably only letting off steam. Tell your ex that you still love them and want to give your relationship another go. Ask them if they would be interested in trying again? Perhaps you could go to couple’s counselling together.

Apologise for your past behaviour and explain why you want them back in your life. You may have to work hard to convince them, particularly, if hurting them is something you do; on a regular basis. If this is the case, you need to ask yourself if you are sure that your ex is the right person for you. We don’t usually hurt the people we love, at least not on a consistent basis. It is difficult enough to keep romance alive in any relationship but if you are always hurting your partner,love dies very quickly.

When you meet your ex, remind them of all the great times you had together as a couple. Tell them that this time apart has given you plenty of time to decide what you want and it is definitely them. You are 100% sure that getting back together is the only result you are interested in. Stroke their ego. Let them know how attractive you find them and how much you want them but don’t go overboard. You do not want to scare them or appear desperate, even though that might be the case.

Be prepared for it to take some time to get your lover back. Tips and advice on how to get your ex back are all good and fine. However you are dealing with a human being, who may need time to see that getting back together; is a good plan.

If your girlfriend broke up with you and you want to get your ex girlfriend back, keep reading. Guess what? 9 times out of every 10, if this happened it’s because you did something wrong. It can be a little tough for men to maintain relationships with women, but it is still quite possible with the right know how. You just need to figure out what happened to make you go off track so that you can get your ex girlfriend back.

Where did you go off track? Why did your ex girlfriend break up with you? When you are ready to get your ex girlfriend back, there are things that you really need to consider just like these. Some girls will tell you all of your faults in great detail while others won’t. When you are trying to figure out what you did wrong, don’t be afraid to ask her. This is a big step to learning how to get your ex girlfriend back because it will tell you what she thinks you need to do to make the necessary changes.

If she’s not telling you what you did wrong and you still want to get your ex girlfriend back, consider the following things:

1 – You may need to pay more attention to her if you want to get your ex girlfriend back. Women don’t like it when you’re not paying enough attention to them. This really isn’t an unreasonable request on their part. It’s vital to every relationship that you give enough attention to your loved ones. You’ll score points with her by showing her that you can give her the attention that you need.

2 – Women have a different idea about emotional support than men. If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to figure out what she’s looking for in terms of emotional support. She needs more than simply verbal affirmations, so buy her something nice to show her that you care about her. This is a great way to get the ball rolling when you want to get your ex girlfriend back.

3 – This shouldn’t bear repeating, but apparently it’s necessary: Don’t cheat on her! Even if she’s cheated on you, or she’s been cheated on before, cheating on her will not help you get your ex girlfriend back. If you like sleeping with different women, you don’t deserve to get your ex girlfriend back, so don’t even bother.

4 – If you want to get your ex girlfriend back and you still live with her, show her you can help her keep the place nice. Pitch in with the housework and participate as much as you can to show her that you know how to be responsible and that you know how to show your love for her.

When you are ready to get your ex girlfriend back, know that the process is not difficult. It may require some basic life changes, however, because you need to be mature and responsible, and you need to know how to show your love for her. Be loving, caring, responsible and respectful, and you may just get your ex girlfriend back after all.

If you’ve been dumped and you’re looking for ways to get ex back then I have to say that kicking and screaming, begging and pleading is not the best of ways to get ex back.  Instead you need to make sure you closely follow what I’m about to lay out for you.

Always one of the ways to get ex back involves appearing to be in control of yourself and not acting like a desperate and needy out of control victim. So, if you’ve been accused of being needy, then now is your chance to show them that you’re far from that.

It might be too late, but if it isn’t and your ex is simply talking about leaving, then as soon as they mention that they’re leaving, make sure you agree the breakup.  Sounds like the opposite to what you want, but if you let them go and you do it calmly and without drama, then your path to getting them back is going to be a lot smoother.
Once they’re gone, you’re going to have to do what the experts call ‘No Contact!’ That means just what it says.  The best ways to get ex back is always to make sure you’re not bombarding them with text messages and calls.  If your ex has heard nothing from you since they walked out, then it doesn’t make them forget you, it makes them miss and wonder what you’re up to.

Getting on with your life after they have gone is a crucial method to use when you’re trying to figure ways to get ex back.  Not only is this a good way to keep yourself busy, but it is also a great way to put things into perspective.  Nothing will help you with your judgment and confidence more than being in a social situation and having some fun with others, so get on with your life.

After you have given yourself some time to think and adjust, guess what, your ex has had the same amount of time to calm down and reassess their decision too.  You should have been out of contact with your ex for at least a month before you decide the time is right to make contact with them.

Phone them up and have a very short and casual conversation with them.  Ask for a meeting somewhere neutral, but don’t make it sound like a big heavy deal. Remember you are trying to find ways to get ex back, so no emotional manipulation.

At the meeting explain you’ve had time to think and you would like to apologize for any mistakes you’ve made.  Tell your ex your feelings for them haven’t changed and you would like another chance.  Always give your ex space to say what they think and how they feel, and listen carefully and sincerely to what they have to say.

Once you’ve said your peace, tell your ex that you’re going to give them time to think things through and then leave.