Archive for the ‘Marriage Counseling’ Category


It’s a tough one you’ve been asking yourself for a while now. . . “How to get my wife to love me again?”

There are many avenues that need to be explored when coming up with an answer to your question and of course the answers depend on your specific situation and circumstances. But there are some basic strategies that any man can apply towards gaining his wife’s love back.

First, you need to figure out why your wife has stopped loving you (or why she says that she doesn’t love you anymore, even if that may not be true).

What are some common reasons for this?

Reason Number 1:
I’ve lost my wife’s love because I had an affair and she found out.

Reason Number 2:
My wife found someone new that she feels is better than me.

Reason Number 3:
I haven’t stuck to my promises and agreements. I promised her that I would change my attitude or some of the things that annoy her but I haven’t done so. This has lead to disappointment and loss of hope on her part.

Reason Number 4:
I neglected my wife in her eyes. I didn’t give her the love and attention she needed.

Reason Number 5: I tried to control everything she did. I didn’t allow my wife enough freedom and space to do what she wanted.

Once you’ve identified the reason or combination of reasons, you can start to go to work on the problem. Many marriages that fail do so because the real problems aren’t really understood. Communication is a huge part of making the marriage work – and men think differently than women so even if you think you know how your wife feels about something (because that’s the way you feel), chances are you probably don’t. So talk to her.

Without the right communication, it’s really hard to resolve and kind of conflict, big or small. The right kind of communication will allow your damaged relationship to start recuperating and later to thrive if you give your wife the opportunity to share her dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with you.

If your wife has conceded to trying in the marriage again, don’t just go back to what wasn’t working. Keep things interesting, do little things to show your wife how much you love and appreciate her or do something pleasantly surprising.

Keeping your promises is another important part of the equation. If you haven’t kept your promises in the past, start doing so now. Your past broken promises have no doubt ruined the trust in your relationship but you can start repairing that now.

Finally, give your wife the space and time she needs. Let her know that you are there for her but don’t smother her.

Hopefully the above information is enough to get you started working on your solving your big concern of “How to get my wife to love me again”.

How to save marriage from ending can be stressful and a catastrophic situation. It could be hard to accomplish, but it can be done. Several times in life,terrible things will happen and sometimes stress is too much to bear. This is why it is important you know how to save marriage. The ability to know how to save marriage can result in something or an issue that has complicated the marriage and put a wall between the two spouses. Usually it happens after a death of a loved one such as a child. It could happen after a fatal car accident. Or perhaps because of some natural disaster no one was aware of. Illness could result in a marriage crisis as well.

You need to know how to save marriage from ending. First you need to grasp the concept that people tend to react differently to certain events. Obviously women and men will deal with things differently. Some people may detach themselves from their feelings while others are more obvious about how they feel. Grasping this and accepting it will help you in the long run and improve your ability on how to save marriage. It’s ignorant to expect your spouse to react exactly like you.

Another thing you need to know is grief can bring out the worst in some people,and may reveal certain traits you didn’t know about before. You need to have patience and understand why negativity can take over their personalities. But first you need to see how those changes effect you. Don’t dismiss the behavior and avoid harmful behaviors,as these can put more of a strain on the situation.

Marriage counseling is needed if these problems effect you or your spouse. Marriage counselors are there to help you and your spouse through these hard times. Even if its a Christian Marriage or other marriage,people and places exist out there to help you and your love overcome any obstacles.

These suggestions could be useful and help you get through this hard time:

* Devote yourself to each other and commit to getting through this together.
* Support each other and try to understand where the both of you are coming from. When either of you are weak at some point,be there to help support them and even the load.
* Assemble your team to help support you. Close friends and family can help you out. None of you have to do this alone. Seek others who have had similar problems.
* Find reasons to smile or laugh again. Watch a movie that the both of you will enjoy. Or you could watch a comedy show on tv. Spend your time around positive people who you tend to have a good time with.Laughing is the cure to everything and it is uplifting.

No matter what the circumstance is, your marriage doesn’t have to come to a screeching halt. Any difficulties overcome can make the bond between you stronger.

Today I will be discussing apathy an ailment that strikes all marriages from time to time. I believe apathy results in many of the divorces we see in long term marriages. While this ailment is found among couples of all ages it can be especially devastating when you begin to see these signs in your marriage.

Occasionally, those who go through long term relationships suffer through some of these issues and may even make them feel as if their wife does not love them any more. Some marriages manage to go through small problems with ease. There are others that seem to have an incredibly tough time getting through even their small marital problems.

When these problems surface it can often be the result of apathy or as some prefer indifference. While you are working hard and doing your best to protect and provide; your wife may be feeling neglected and that you no longer care for her.

Some husbands seem to give up on their relationship when they feel as if their wife does not love them anymore. They ask for a divorce because they feel as if their relationship cannot be salvaged. This is incredibly unfortunate, as there are many marriages that could be saved if the man would have a change of heart and a few simple changes in their actions. Also if you say that “I want my wife to love me again” then there are a few things you need to make sure that you avoid. By avoiding these actions you will help yourself win back your wife’s love.

Choosing Your Battles

To win your wife back you need to make sure that you stop complaining about the small issues. You both should be working on the bigger things in your life like your future and improving your relationship; you need to let some of the smaller things go as you try to work on the larger things. You need to realize that some of the small things that upset you are not enough of a problem for you to even talk about.

Failing to Listen

One of the worst things that you can do when trying to win your wife back is to not listen to what she has to say. Talk to her about what you hear her saying to make sure that you understand what she is talking about. If you do not listen, she will feel that you are not taking the issue seriously. You need to sharpen your listening skills and this is easier than you may think. By truly hearing what others say you will improve all of your relationships and make your life better.

Arguing

Try to avoid arguing with your wife as you try to get her to love you again. Arguments simply cause animosity; the more trouble there is in the relationship, the less likely she is to fall in love with you again.

Discuss Divorce

If you are planning on working with your wife to win back her heart, avoid the topic of divorce. If you talk about the possibility of a divorce, your wife will see that you do not care about relationship and will stop thinking about you. While it may be ok to give her space, avoid divorce talk at all costs.

Some of these topics may seem trivial, while others may seem incredibly obvious. Unfortunately, some will attempt to win back the heart of their wife while missing the obvious, and ignoring the trivial. You need to make sure that you are approaching this situation correctly if you want your wife to love you again.

If you can truly say, “I want my wife to love me again”, you will have no problem following this advice. If you are willing to do anything for your relationship, and are willing to change your actions and behaviors, you have a shot at saving your marriage.

Restoring trust in a relationship after an affair is not an easy task. According to the Bible a cheating spouse is an acceptable reason for divorce. Infidelity is a serious offense and the main reason for the loss of trust in a marriage or any relationship. Like the proverbial ringing of the bell it can’t be unrung and regaining trust can almost seem impossible but, if you keep your focus on trust, and keep taking those small steps, before you know it, your partner will begin trusting you again.

Conventional thinking says that you should split up if one of you has been unfaithful. Does it have to be that way? Not if both parties are willing to do what it takes. Restoring trust in relationships isn’t easy, but it can be done. Here are some ideas on how to make that happen.

Keep in mind as you go through the process of restoring trust is that it requires changes in the actions and attitudes of both people in the relationship. Even after something as serious as an affair, a relationship can be saved. The key is start with small amount of trust, and continuing to build on it.

Before you can start the rebuilding you need to take an honest look at what went wrong. Your natural tendency is to blame the other person if they are the one that cheated. They are at fault; so if you are the one who cheated then you need to admit your mistake and do everything you can to prove that it will not happen again. To some extent if you were cheated on you need to accept the fact that something you are doing or not doing may have contributed.

For example, if your partner had an affair, what was it that they were seeking from someone else? What was it that you weren’t providing? You will need to improve these things if you want to have a future together. Don’t get me wrong, it’s never right to cheat, but we are trying to restore a relationship and work on trust. While you can’t undo the past, you can certainly create a better future.

The next step is to start actually gaining some trust again. One of the best things you can do is assume the other person is being honest. By doing this, you will get trust in return. Of course, that is easy to say, but much harder in practice. So, the trick here is to take small steps. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just start demonstrating your ability to stick to your word.

Over time, these small steps start to accumulate and build on one another. But, you must keep at it, and always follow through on what you say you’re going to do. Excuses will not cut it at this point. In fact, if there is any possibility, any doubt in your mind at all, then it’s better to not say anything.

Contrary to popular belief, doing the little things can save marriages.

If you’re in a bad state in your own marriage, you will often feel that there is no way to change things for the better. If you have been having problems with your partner for a long time, you may feel depressed, angry, and possibly even scared. You may feel that you have tried everything to put the marriage back on track. But there are many times when just doing the little things day to day that can bring your marriage back to a state that you are comfortable with, just as it is often that not doing the little things day to day gradually took their toll on your marriage to make it what it is now.

When you first start out in a loving relationship, everything seems easy. You’re in love, you spend a lot of time together, you make plans and have dreams. Why is the relationship so easy then? Not only because you are in love. You can still be in love and have a problematic relationship, as you may be dealing with now. One reason that it is easier is because you are more willing to compromise. Indeed, you don’t even really see anything as a compromise. If your partner likes you to do certain things, or act a certain way, you do it without even thinking about it. And you are happy to do it because it makes him or her happy.

As time goes on, though, you may start to resent those things that your partner is asking you to do. Or maybe it’s not that you resent them as much as you resent the fact that you will do things for him or her (willingly or unwillingly, but you will do them), but he or she does not return the favor. If this type of situation is affecting you and you haven’t spoken about it, now is the time. Communication can save marriage, even if it is about seemingly little things like this. Talk about what you would each like from each other. It doesn’t have to be big. It can be as simple as giving you a call at work, or saying hello when you come in the house, instead of just turning on the TV.

Start with these little things. And do them. If you think that they are little and silly, then it should be easy for you to stick to them. As time goes on, add more. Another important point to note is that you are giving the other person what he or she would like–not what you would like. Even if you don’t understand why something is important to him or her, you need to realize that it is important to him or her, and take it seriously. Simple things like this can save your marriage.

It can be one of life’s most difficult situations: a marriage falling apart. While it is important to try to honestly evaluate the problems in your marriage, and be willing to make reasonable changes to your unacceptable behavior, you still need to answer the question: ‘how do i get my wife to come back home?’ You can’t even work on your relationship until she is home.

It’s helpful if you have a ‘game plan’ for when your wife returns home. This isn’t about manipulation or only paying lip service to making changes, it’s about taking stock of the person you are and what areas of your personality and behavior you need to change. Remember you’re not just making changes to keep your wife happy, you’re making changes that need to be made for you to become a better person and a better husband.

Having given honest consideration to these things before your wife comes home will mean that you don’t just repeat the same hurtful and destructive behaviors that caused her to leave in the first place. You don’t want to have a relationship that is turbulent where you are constantly fighting about the same things. That type of relationship isn’t good for anyone. Now that you have honestly accepted that there are some changes you will need to make, it’s time to figure out how to get your wife to come home.

Here are some steps that can help you convince your wife that you still love her and there is hope for your relationship and that she should return home:

1. The first thing is to let her know that you’ve been honest with yourself and realize that there are things in your behavior that you are willing, and able, to change. Let her know that you are a sincere, mature man who wants to be a better man and a better husband and that you are willing to work on those things. If she has real reason to believe things can be different this time she’ll be more likely to return home and give it a try.

2. Don’t go into ‘bachelor mode’ and be a pig. Keep the house clean. Shower, shave, do the laundry, etc. Your wife sure isn’t going to want to come home if she feels like she is just going to have to be the maid. No woman wants to have to be a mother to her own husband. Most woman want a friend, a partner, and a lover. Let her see that even though you miss her, you respect her enough to keep up with the housework even when you’re on your own.

3. If you’re wrong, admit it and apologize. Many men get caught up in the macho idea that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you screw up and admit it and apologize that is actually a sign of confidence, strength, and maturity.

Admitting when you are wrong and offering a sincere apology not only lets others know that you are a mature, confidant person, it also shows that you have respect for yourself and for them.

The reality is that people who won’t apologize are actually very weak and insecure. They are too unsure of themselves to be able to admit they were wrong. When you’re confidant enough in yourself to offer a sincere apology it shows that you are a strong, confidant individual…and that is sexy to any woman.

I hope these tips have given you some ideas on how to answer the question: “how do i get my wife to come back home?” The point is that if you truly want your marriage to work you need to be willing to work on your marriage. It takes two.

“I want my husband to love me again” is one of the most frequently echoed sentiments when it comes to relationship mending. It’s becoming more and more common that women are feeling lonely and lost in what they feel are loveless marriages. But they do not want to give up even if it appears that their husband already has. The good news is that there are many ways to fix your marriage, or any long-term relationship, and bring back that love you once shared.

Mending a marriage can be complicated and there are many strategies that you can take to go about this. The results will depend on your individual situation and circumstances, but there are some questions you need to ask yourself. First of all, you obviously feel that your husband doesn’t love you anymore or you wouldn’t be stating “I want my husband to love me again.” But has he told you this? Remember that men and women think and feel differently. There could be a big difference between the way he really feels and what you think he feels. If he has not left you, and he hasn’t admitted to not having feelings for you anymore, then he probably does still love you, but there are some other things getting in the way that are confusing him.

One very common reason that husbands seem to stop displaying love to their wives is because the wife shifts her attention from him to the children. This is normal of course and you should put your kids as top priority. But if you’ve been paying very little to no attention to your husband, he may start to feel unappreciated and he could even feel a little resentment toward the children. While you would hope that is not the case, it is not uncommon, especially if the situation has become a permanent mother-tending-to-her-kids-all-the-time one. In early childhood, this is more understandable, but as children grow up, some of your attention should shift back over to your husband.

If your husband treats you with no admiration or respect, first take a look at how you are treating him. Whether he started this behavior or you did, you need to be the one to change it. Start complimenting him for the things he does do. And avoid badgering him for the things he doesn’t. If all goes well, he will start to mirror your actions so just give it time. In the meantime, instead of focusing on him all the time (for better or for worse), try focusing on yourself. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and not just the kids and your husband. The better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you will be to others, including your husband.

Your wish of “I want my husband to love me again” can be granted if you just take that advice into consideration.

If you are wondering what does the Bible say about marriage, it really depends on which book you read. Obviously the views of the Old Testament are rather stricter than those expressed in the New Testament. You need to be careful when looking to the Bible for answers. Sure use it as guidance but the contents need to be interpreted in the light of the times those people lived in. Not all of the information contained in this book is relevant to the issues and crisis that can affect marriages today.

For example, the “What God has joined together let no man separate” teaching is wonderful if you are in a successful marriage and both of you are happy. But I don’t believe God would want any woman to stay with an abusive husband or vice versa. And while I believe that marriage is for life, there are always exceptions to the rule. Unfortunately in our society today, the number of marriages breaking down is on the increase. This could be for a number of reasons, not least of which is that divorce is more socially acceptable these days. It could also be the fact that people often enter into marriage contracts without putting enough thought into whether the other person is the right match for them. Just look at any number of celebrities, some of whom appear to believe that a Wedding chapel should be fitted with revolving doors.

It is very easy to walk away when your marriage hits a bad spot and sadly that is the mistake a lot of people make. But the fact is that every relationship will hit the rocks on occasion. What is important is what you do to put it back on the happy track. Men and women are so different that it can lead to communication issues. Then you add in life hassles such as worries over children, money, mortgages, jobs etc and it is easy to see why romance may go a little cold.

But before you head for the divorce lawyer, why not invest a little money into some education. Buy the Magic of Making Up and see if you can apply these theories to your own situation. So many people will separate from their partner and end up living a life of misery on their own. Or they move onto the next marriage and then the next etc. If you once loved your partner, you can rekindle this lost love and it really doesn’t take a huge effort. In fact it usually takes less time and energy than trying to find someone else to love and learning how to handle their faults. Better stick to the devil you know and usually love on some level!

So pay less attention to wondering what does the Bible say about marriage and start concentrating on getting those romantic feelings back into your own. You will be very glad you did.

Are you wondering if marriage restoration works? Yes it does if you know exactly what to do and when. Love is like a plant – you need to nurture your love or it will die. You need to feed it on a regular basis and let it build in strength. A well nourished relationship is very hard to destroy.

If you need some ideas on how marriage restoration works have a read of Magic Of Making Up. The strategies in there will help most people to improve their relationships and not just those of us facing a marriage breakdown. Communication between couples can be fraught with problems. Our egos often get in the way and it not our egos, our pride. How often have you known that you should apologize for your behavior but decided that you couldn’t do it as you didn’t want to lose face. Some men let their egos go to their head. They lose a fantastic relationship with the woman of their dreams because some other girl looks attractive and shows interest. He can’t let his ego down by saying no, is unfaithful, gets caught and then wonders why he may need marriage restoration.

When you are part of a couple, life is not always easy. You have to compromise and this can mean that you spend your Saturday on the sidelines at a game when you would rather be in the Mall shopping. Or it could mean you take your wife and her parents out to dinner when you would rather be with your mates in a bar somewhere. But the benefits of being happily married far outweigh any disadvantages. Being able to come home to your loving partner at the end of a hard day. Knowing that there is always someone who believes in you and what you are trying to achieve. Knowing you are not on your own and don’t have to spend your life in a series of flings because you are lonely.

If you have children, you owe them the chance of growing up in a happy home with both their parents. They didn’t ask to come into your life, you invited them. All kids want Mom and Dad to stay together. Sometimes it is best for parents to split up but only if they have tried everything to make their relationship work first. They can’t just bail at the first sign of trouble. All couples go through phases of being less than happy with each other, but for the majority these phases will pass especially if you both make an effort to resolve the underlying issues.

Yes being happily married takes hard work and commitment but the benefits are fantastic. So if you feel marriage restoration would work for you today, get a copy of the Magic of Making Up, follow the instructions and get your relationship back on the right track now. Don’t wait until it is too late.

Are you thinking your marriage is on the rocks? Don’t despair or panic, it is not over yet and with a little work and some good luck you can save your relationship.

Every partnership between a man and a woman will go through a period where it seems they have fallen in hate with each other rather than love. Perhaps you are fighting every day and can’t remember the last time you both spent some quality loving time together. Perhaps your sex life has died and is now just a distant memory. Or maybe you have found out your partner has been cheating on you or lying to you about something important?

People often believe that cheating is the end of any relationship but it doesn’t have to be. A one off affair is not the same as somebody who cheats on a regular basis regardless of the consequences. That shows a distinct lack of respect for their partner and that is not an easy problem to resolve.

Whatever the reason for your current difficulties, splitting up and heading for the divorce courts is not the easy answer. You owe it to yourself and each other to make an effort to save this relationship and fight for your right to be happy together. You fell in love once and the good news is that you can rekindle these feelings and perhaps even make your marriage stronger. Will it be easy? No! Will it be painful? Yes! Will it take time? Yes! But will it be worth it? Almost definitely. I say almost as only you know whether you are willing to put in the time, effort and commitment to saving your marriage.

You are going to need some outside help. For some this will take the form of relationship counseling while others would prefer to read a book in the privacy of their own home. Some people will want to do both. I would strongly recommend that you both read the Magic of Making Up. It will help you to put things into perspective. It will also show you that most couples are capable of resolving their issues and making their commitment to each other stronger and happier.

It really comes down to the question of whether you are prepared to fight for the potential your marriage once had or if you want to walk away. If you think you prefer the second option, remember that the grass can appear greener on the other side. In other words, it may seem that you will be happier with your partner out of the picture but the reality could be very different. Life is hard no matter what age or background you come from. Sharing the ups and downs that come along every day with someone you love and respect makes living a lot more fun and a lot more worthwhile.

So what are you willing to do to take your marriage on the rocks and turn it into a happy love affair?